Apologia

Folks folks folks... I will be back in service soon. Here's the story. My cousin (the actor) has been renovating his home (as documented somewhere below) and managed stupidly to screw up all internet access from the house. We're working with 14.4 Kbps right now, down from ten times that (?) with DSL. So I'm waiting for the DSL to get hooked up again. Then I'll be going wild on the blog as usual.

Good news. Sidereality has taken a poem ("Sensor")--I'll keep you all up to date...

Look what I found

I wrote this poem when I was twelve years old. It is about the fantasies the planet Saturn has. To kill Jupiter and marry Earth. To screw Venus. To put an end to desire ("desirecide") by plunging into Phoebus, the sun itself.

It is long and not worth reading in toto. But I suggest taking a dip at random. The end is particularly potent.



SATURN THE WANDERLUST


Prologue (SATURN)

Would I were a wanderlust;
What fine longing I would make,
Fine impulses unconquerable of departures and desires.
Nay to merely wander,
a lascivious witness to
the heartracing coil of lust.
Nor remain unpestered as now:
spinning Saturn.

Round axis — round orbit
goes my entrapped motioning:
An electric rabbit round canine track,
rapidly racing sattelites in tow,
panting pawing clawing
for the pyrite hare,
Excepting that there are no sleazy bets
placed on my day and night
and the rabbit does not dream
as Saturn celestial wisher.

I wish to be the wish itself
for which I may not wish.

My circumference surrounded
by these dusty rings,
maleable monuments to infinite fidelity.
As such married to my orbit,
this unwavering orbit,
smothering fast flames of aspiration,
smothering quenching quickness,
pulverizing into stone ash dust.

O these rings—
maleable monuments aere perennius!
O for a taste of choice—
sharp on my dull tongue!
O to immerse olfactors—
in the pungent odours of possibility!
O to be brimming—
with liberation pouring from my lips!
O what vows I will form—
to wed Earth for a fragment
of freedom formed in the phrases
scribed by her minion-lice!

Follow here an account
of satiating desirecide,
of Saturn the Wanderlust incarnate,
of fast found free will bestowed upon the loneliest of spheres.



I, 1.

Liberty dancing shining upon
aspiring planet Saturn,
entering the Court of Nine
(and the many moody moons),
awakening into life celestial bodies thus.

Awakening Mercury Venus Uranus and Earth
(with whose vow of marriage Saturn
exchanges one freedom for another;
Mother Earth's minion lice fashion a free will arena
within which Saturn alivens)
Mars and Neptune also Pluto.

King Jupiter rises royal,
like a rich tall tree tended well,
only to have his roots plugged
with nemetic necrotic venom;
poison bitter messenger.

Paralysis then death comes
from the sender: fresh green stalk.
Our Saturn fresh with freedom,
green with envy,
and shooting
stalkwise starward rapidly

As those asteroids which streak
across the night skies of Earth,
bringing wishdreams to those
terra firma dermis lice
who call her Mother who inhabit her skin,
calling to flashes of light in the sky
for their earnest entreaties,
necks craned skyward as they watch
and wait and watch and wish a while.

As envious Saturn poisons loving largest Jupiter:
To the spot of his dot,
he delivers a drop
whose action brings
kings to silent stop.
Jupiter Rex
thus poisoned in bed
refuses to stir,
his quickness quick shed,
"all hear in the court our King is dead!"

Thus Jupiter withers down,
an axis around
corpse, crown.


I, 2.

Coronation! Neo rex! Saturn rex!
Woe we mourn pater rex Jupiter
Mirth to novel Saturn in his fair rule!

Earth and Saturn adjacent and thronewise
don crowns of swirling circling comets
sizzling round them in dazzling conjugal glory,
yet gloomed by the cast of Jupiter's
permanendormus.
In bitter poison presses the terminus:
determine us terminus,
terminus determine us.

For what lays ahead for us but
ash and stone and numb orbit?
Courtwise expired Jupiter
now none but a wad of logos lost dust
silently rapidly crossing through etherspace
harnessed by gravity's long leash
unfree unaware unalive,
as Saturn prior to his vow with Earth
(through which even now the louse sets him free
to careen Jupiter deathwise and filch his crown).

Fair Jupiter just Jupiter woe are we,
though for Terra's vows for Saturn neo rex:
bittersweet coronation
we rejoice
in goldlight
in couple's circling comet crowns.

So as death has done,
we place aside Jupiter
and rejoice: Saturn rex!
fair and just! neo rex! all hail!

Novus ordo seclorum.

I,3

Devoted Saturn devoted Earth,
arms ensembled claspwise,
step slowly cross the hollow hall,
the hall which weary from
weep and cheer now echoes
deserted and empty the
footfalls of conjugal crowns.

Earth speaks making private
her public vow in his ear.

Saturn parrots her whisper
then confesses dark urging within
with sputtering wandering words,
plainly terrasexual.

Royal gowns spent floorwise,
table bare in empty hall,
the conjugals
consumate.

Setting fly for Earth
torrents and tempests typhoons and such,
quakings of quivers and magmatic heat,
shaking the waves and the shores which they touch,
pelting her minionlice with passion's sleet.
As they stare at the sky,
wondering why,
and when and how their Maker they'll meet.

Thus Saturn and Earth,
fleshwise entwined,
collapse together:
celestial pleasure,
treasure no measure.

I,4.

Gay gathering in the court of our King,
with jeering jester Uranus
all expounding his pornosophy.

bell rings rings bell rings
IO most garish and grand of the moody moons
brings forth into the hall Neptune and Pluto:
violent visages flash arms
all a flail clash with mail.
Applause explodes for these fraters combatting
to lead the Nine's flight cosmosward
(contending Phoebus follows, taillight).
Echoes of mirth resound through the court
at such a silly fight scene sight seen;
all know Phoebus leads heliocentrically.
Effusive convulsive gasping erupting:
ha ha ha ha ha aaaahhhh ha ha ha ha ha
at insects skirmishing over donkey's assrule.
Then a sudden sight extinguishes laughter:
garnet pools! blood is drawn!
Trident punctures Pluto,
lunging forth to pluck
mad Neptune's heart,
rapid rabid red heart,
venge revenge avenge.

Suiting Saturn's orders swiftly
moons separate Pluto and Neptune.
An affray terminé,
for the ladder's least rung,
for the Court of Nine's ninth.
Neptune and Pluto
(still clutching his wound)
stand before Saturn with heads
bowed
in
shame
and hear fair judgement passed:
Fraters moronicae,
our fair former sleeps;
shall Neptune and Pluto join Jupiter
in death' s silent slumber
by a futile skirmish,
intiated in delusion that Phoebus' light
forms our court's aft-trailings
with cold stone at the fore?
Such foolish fancy's dissolution
is not my aim.
I seek only to judge find fair resolution.
Thus I mnemonize wise
(Solomon louse rex Israel)
and decree your prize shall be split,
this dubious distinction this flylordship,
sometime to Pluto sometime to Neptune.
This thus I proclaim justly fairly
and wish to witness none more strife
between fraters moronicae.
All agreed: Saturn rex!
fair and just! neo rex! all hail!

I, 5.

In soundest slumber,
Earth nestled with her waking Saturn,
whose stomach churns
to the taste of malediction,
churning of his maleficent
malfeasance and resultant
undigested poisons.
So Saturn wakes walks waits
for the depressed tempest to pass.
Storm rages ubiquitous through
Saturn's sensibilities:
lifetaker lustmonger obligator vowmaker
(vows he has spoken
he wishes now broken).
The must and should rear ugly
and render Earth medusan.
So while she sleeps soundly
he wakes walks waits
from tempest
to temptress: dormus Venus
awakening inviting
Saturn to visit
cloud covered chambers of lust.

O Venus!
to cultivate coitus
with you cloudy queen,
wonder of wonders,
wandering pandering lust,
lead me licking to steamy sauna
lapping to the pinnacle of pleasure,
the taste on my tongue is such pressing passion,
licking lovely velvet vulva!

O slippery Saturn!
shed aside mad Mother Earth
and press on sunward;
visit voluptuous Venus friend
and your ecstacy shall never end!

O Venus stay silent Earthwise
of our fancy frolics
and sing songs of the spheres,
as Saturn semin shoots
coreward into your
cloudy cumuli
dolce dolce dolce!
Volcanoes of Venus surround my penis!

O Saturn!
Saturn rex! fair and just! neo rex! all hail!

II, 1.
A dispatch from Saturn to Earth:

To mine own wife Earth,

Once—not long ago I must admit—in your tender stone I found an axis focus around which all revolved. Earth, madam, Earth! The mere mention of Earth summoned silky visions of hot hot core and lush lush flora. Visions which—scintillating—sequestered all else into the periphery, into icy grey blindness, into a hazy ambivalent whocares, into fuzzytunnelled onlyou.

Like to your minion-lice of antiquity (before Polish cleric set Sun central), you, Earth, were my cosmos' nucleus. My cosmos.

But of late you have caused me to banally belabour our coverture of convenience—you have dulled, madam, like a knife that has cut too often, a switchblade sans spring, an old bag—stored away with nothing left in it. No longer do I long for what once was tender tantric terra firma. As for marriage, your minionlice—your ubiquitous tenants—betray you well; I shun you, yet they continue to scribe my freedom unconditionally.

Thus I leave you alone with your vows.

SATURN THE WANDERLUST

II, 2.
A dispatch from Saturn to Venus:

Ahhh Venus,

O how the remembered ecstasy of our recent romp lingers nags pleads with me to remain : passion's every plenitude : cornucopia, concubine! Still I feel our bond, our interplanetary union, our gee em one em two over dee squared attraction.

Nevertheless, one cannot forever scratch the itch which begs to be quenched. Thus I leave you asking only, Venus, Venus, that you do not despair: post nubila Phoebus.

SATURN THE WANDERLUST

II, 3.
A Saturnine Declaration:

Saturn rex departs soon on a covert quest asking that all others in the court manage affairs meanwhile under Titan. The undisclosed nature of this quest will remain unspoken for the sake of secrecy.
Saturn rex! fair and just! neo rex! all hail!

III, 1.
( Saturn, lounging in his chamber, contemplates his journey as swirling asteroid attendants eavesdrop.)
SATURN
Lured as I am by her prominences, I cannot help but deliver myself unto her, deliver my pleasure pressed soil unto her corona's touch. Phoebus! She must be mine! Earth foolish and frigid, Venus lewd and disposable, I am left no alternative but she to which desire leads me. O Phoebosexuality!

(DESIRE appears, an androgynous mirror image of SATURN clad in a suit of tiny human minionlice which pump and thrust at its flesh, drawing blood with their teeth and smearing it all over. One bearing crown, closest to the navel, slashes at the others with a scythe. They fall bloodied to the floor as others assume their assault on the navelking. DESIRE defecates into its hand and eats its own excrement, licking its fingers with delight and laughing. The fallen minionlice resume their thrusting pumping and licking at the soles of DESIRE's feet. DESIRE''s suit continually unmakes and reassembles itself in this fashion.)

DESIRE
Come now, Saturn—to Phoebus—I must be satisfied! Satiate me, Saturn neo rex! On to Phoebus and her juicy loopy prominences!

FALLEN MINIONLICE (pumping and thrusting)
Sayshate! Sayshayshun! Soon so soon shall we sashate you O deeshire! Justy loosey prahminanshes! Joosey joosey joosey!

NAVELKING MINIONLOUSE (slashing)
Kil kil kil.

SATURN (kneeling to kiss DESIRE's feet)
In serving you.

(At DESIRE's feet, SATURN does not kiss, but begins to gobble up the frayed edges of its suit, the fallen minionlice humans which cling to DESIRE, screaming in fear. One by one SATURN eats them, blood drooling down his chin as they are mashed and crushed in his twin rows of teeth. The navelking is the last to go, and slashes SATURN's lip with his scythe. SATURN devours him, removes the scythe from his lip, and takes it in his hand. He incises DESIRE's skin, from side of head to chest, down abdomen and along long leg. He pulls apart the skin and climbs inside, making a suit of DESIRE's flesh.)

SATURN
(suited in DESIRE's flesh, arms outstretched)
Ahhh! Incarnation! Incarnation! Ahhh! Haaa! In-carné-tion! In-carné-tion! Haaa!
No time must be wasted! Sayshayshun! To Phoebus! Slippery Sun of Suns! Ohhhh!
To corona! To chromosphere! To photosphere! Lusto ergo sum! Desiro lusto sum!

(Overhearing, swirling asteroids quickly delivertheir newfound news through the Court of Nine.)

CERES, EROS, JUNO, PALLAS, VESTA

Saturn leaves! We know where he goes! To the Sun! To the Sun!

III, 2.
(Enter VENUS and EARTH as SATURN prepares for departure)

EARTH
I have received word, letter, and dispatch. I care no more for you, dusty-ringed cold forsaking vowbreaking usurping orb. I can only think of my minion-lice now, and of their survival. If you press on sunward, destruction will ensue. For my minion-lice.

SATURN
I have killed minion-lice enough. Can you not see me? Deeesshhiirreee, Earth! Sayshashun! It is my only right way lest I breed pestilence! Galactically, many other mothers eggs are fertilized—your minion-lice may perish, but O! how just the cause! (He ejaculates a stream of homunculean minion-lice corpses.)

EARTH (dropping to Saturn's feet)
You will perish as well, Saturn! You will perish chromospherically, before any satiation, never to have your phoebosexuality!

SATURN
Put simply, I have wronged you. Now you wish to wrong me with misinformation. Begone!

VENUS (dropping to Saturn's feet)
Saturn! You must not! It would mean an end to the Court of Nine (and the many moody moons).

SATURN
A mother and a whore both have I wronged and now they wish to undo me!

(Earth and Venus hold down Saturn's legs. He slices away his second skin just above his knees. Earth and Venus are left holding empty trunks of DESIREs discarded flesh. SATURN attempts his departure but its stopped by crashing cosmic explosions; enter the ghost of JUPITER)


JUPITER'S GHOST
Ay, usurping beast! Saturn sit and stay and dispose of desire awhile, see that this flight will be fruitless and icaric! Stay and shed your coat to rule wisely. Mnemonize? Saturn rex! fair and just! neo rex! all hail!

SATURN
I tire of this repetition. A mother and a whore and a king three I have wronged and now they wish to undo me! A dead body revenges not injuries! Now my yearning draws me Phoebusward.

(VENUS , EARTH, and JUPITER'S GHOST attempt to shackle SATURN as he departs. In his maleable suit of desire, he slips from them and begins his journey .)

ALL (except SATURN)
Stop!!!!! Save us save us!!!!! Stop Saturn!!!!!

SATURN
(escaping their clutches for the final time,
caught now in Phoebus' gee em one em two over dee squared attraction.)
Two billion billion billion tons of gas. Alea iacta est.

III, 3.
(SATURN leaves his orbit, unleashing hyperbolic catastrophe: Beta Regio (volcano of Venus) prolapses, pillars of salt transform into Amazon armies, Everest enters Mariana, all who live give birth to themselves, Pluto and Neptune clash in mutually fatal battle, Mercury shoots into Pallas, Uranus bursts, Mars crashes into Earth, minionlice settlements tear from their foundations, cornerstones stack into Babylonian towers, holy asteroids pop and unleash billions of guinea worms, the music of the spheres dissonates and cacophonizes and shatters all solid matter into its constituent atoms. The telephone is dead, help has gone its way, unlock the prisons, let loose the lunatics, the time is come.)

SATURN
deshiire!!! sayshashun!!! desirecide!!! sunny sunny Phoebus phuck!!! Ohhh!!!

CORONA
Ohhh!

SATURN
deshiire sayshashun desirecide sunny sunny Phoebus phuck Ohhh

CHROMOSPHERE
Ohhh

SATURN
deshr syshshn dsrcd snny snny Phbs phck hhh

PHOTOSPHERE
hhh

SATURN
deshrsyshshndsrcdesnnysnnyPhbsphckhhh

(Collisions and debris puncturing and pulverizing. Blinding and searing light and heat. End.)


Epilogue (SATURN)

Thus plays out my flight of fancy,
faulty though it may be found.

Still it must be played:
is better to be free and follow
an excessroad than never know
this wisdompalace as a guide
of satiated desirecide.
Now Saturn Rex (The Wanderlust),
must return to stone ash dust.
Yet let this demise yield no chagrin,
for desire of greatness is a godlike sin.